Tuesday, 9 October 2012

The Left and Bereft


EMIGRATION BREAKS RELATIONSHIPS.

The modern city is a place where everyone’s a stranger, so it seems, on his way to somewhere else…Yet what makes an airport especially curious is that its look-alike settings are the scenes for the most emotional moments in our public lives. People break down at departure gates…Part of the pathos and stress of the airport is that lives are being changed irreversibly, and people have nothing to steady themselves with but a Coffee People outlet, a Sky Plaza…all the comforts of home, made impersonal. (The Global Soul. Pico Iyer)

In school in the 1950s our teacher national school pondered on emigration seeing it as a failure of the Ireland he belonged to. It was as present as the rain in the area in which I grew up. Every family had someone who was an emigrant and would be an emigrant. They were resigned to a future that would see the past repeated. I didn’t understand his anguish about emigration. The returning emigrants that I knew were home on holidays, well groomed and dressed and with money in their pockets. I wondered why the anguish about emigration and the traumatic, grief-laden departures.

The village seems strange; this
     is separation as if my beloved
     has left it.
The grief of separation is so cruel
that it is not scared of anyone;
(Shahzeb Faqir. Poetry of the Taliban)

In October 1956 I was at Galway railway station waiting for the Dublin train that would take me back to college after playing a rugby match. The station master announced that this train was bound for Dun Laoire and the mail boat to Holyhead. As people made their way into the station my attention got locked into a group in front of me. The group was comprised of a man, woman an three children, a family. The man carried a small suitcase indicating that he was travelling. They stood close together and carried on a conversation that was for themselves only. The children were huddled between both parents giving the impression of a clutch of chickens. Eventually, the station master announced that those with tickets should board the train. The scene changed. The wife, mother, picked up the suitcase and handed it to her husband and children’s father. In doing so she was asserting her new role as both father and mother. She gave the suitcase to her husband. He took it and left it at his feet. She beckoned the children to give their father a hug which they individually did and then she did the same. She said, Dia Leath and he replied Dia Liv. She took a handkerchief from her pocket, wiped his tears as he stepped towards the train. She then wiped the children’s eyes and lastly her own.

As I stepped on to the train I too cried. There and then I understood the full meaning of emigration. Primary relationships broken, husband without wife, wife without husband, children without a father, a father without his children. A mother playing two roles. All separated, gone and left behind.

As I travelled back on the train I pondered the scene at the station. Having left home to go to boarding school my own goings and comings over the previous few years flashed through my memory. Homecomings were happy occasions, departures were heart rending, not just for myself but for my mother and father. We were all losing something of each other that only afterwards we could articulate. It wasn’t just me that was hurting at losing them. They were hurting too on losing me. There was loss on both sides and all of us had to deal with loss in our own way. There were no lectures about leaving home, emigrating. Anything we knew about leaving home was picked up by observation at moments of departure, going away parties, American wakes. It was an awkward time. Indeed, there were some would could not deal with departure by the front door, so to speak, they just left without saying goodbye, by the back door. Leaving by the back door was a cause for greater grief because parents were left to wonder if the silent departure was their fault. This grief took a much longer time to heal as parents were left to ponder why they were rejected, abandoned. The song, Steal Away, depicted that.         

Years later, retuning on holidays from overseas I was visiting my neighbours. Emigration had begun again. In one house I visited three children had just departed. A  cloud of grief filled a hole in the house. All of a sudden a father and mother were left behind. One could touch the emptiness. They were trying to understand the causes of emigration and at the same time deal with the porousness of their emotions. In the conversation one of them said, “Ah, the houses are quiet now” and the other said, “sure, and the countryside is quiet too.”

That said it all. Those who left had to deal with the hole in their hearts, culture shock, the discomfort of the unfamiliar and the fact that they were not at home any more  Those left behind, the bereft, had to realise that those who had left were not going to be at home any more  All, those at home and away, were on their own now. Primary relationships were broken. They would not be the same again. New aspects of these relationships would have to be invented. Those having left would develop tourist brochure memories, of home, parents and friends, that they would in times of confusion seek shelter in. Those left behind would do likewise. The danger of frozen tourist brochure memories is that they can become prisons of nostalgia that are difficult to break out of.

Sadly, governments and other institutions of society are slow to get involved in enabling people with relevant information so that the emigration experience be productive and healthy for all concerned. It is not a lack of knowledge that has kept it away from people. Unfortunately, emigration is looked at through the lenses of economics, loss of a national asset by the emigration countries, the gain of an asset for free by those nations that receive them. Immigrants are commodified as units of labour needed in economic prosperity, discarded in economic failure, and worse still scapegoated as was the case in the recent French, American and Greek elections.

Since the demise of communism new enemies are needed. This time immigrants are portrayed as a risk generally mentioned in the same media sentence as terrorists and drug traffickers.  Emigration, a journey of hope of the heart in the internal landscape of the soul, was always a risk and still is. Why, turn on those who generate economies away by their work and at home by their remittances? European history has a history to scapegoat the weakest minority. Is the only certainty we learn from history that we do not learn anything from history?

The task of migrant nations, like Ireland, calls for at least an awareness of the emigrant condition and to recognise the contribution they make at home and away. It is important to remember that it was the success of those Irish abroad that gave confidence to the people at home in the past. Irish emigrant remittances between 1950-65 from Britain was the equivalent of seven billion £s. Yet, the Irish government was slow to involve itself during difficult times in the Irish Diaspora. Also, the Irish government does not hesitate about running to the Diaspora seeking help having bailed out those at home that caused the economic malaise.

Emigrants deserve decent services, objective information and recognition.

Tommy was my neighbour in Montego Bay. A fine looking young fellow. His mother saw no future at home. When Tommy was five she left for the United States leaving Tommy in care of a relative. She sent back money for Tommy’s education. I got to know him because he asked me to write letters to his mother in New York. The relative did not value education leaving Tommy illiterate. He also had a serious stammer. Neighbours related that his stammer set in after his mother emigrated. They believed that Tommy’s stammer was caused by the shock and loss of his mother’s departure.

Grace Nichols, the Jamaican poet, catches the grief and loss of those left behind. In small populated island nations, branch economies like Jamaica and Ireland, emigration to the trunk economies is always on the horizon.

His cane-shot eyes
his voice cracked as he wails
what his bones know for certain:
‘Nevaar to meet again
Nevaar to meet again.’

Come, Hanuman,
only your many arms
can help console this man-
still waving to an empty sky
the white flag of his handkerchief.
(Grace Nichols, Jamaican poet.)

  

  

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